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Top > s 
| Steven Wright
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quote: I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldnt park anywhere near the place.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where’s the self-help section? She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: I was walking down the street wearing glasses when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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| Steven Wright
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quote: I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, Got any shoes youre not using?
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| Steven Wright
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quote: I went to a general store. They wouldnt let me buy anything specifically.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: Im writing a book. I have the page numbers down.... I just have to fill in the rest.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
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