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Top > s 
| Steven Wright
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quote: Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: My friend has a baby. Im writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When shes asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep well? I said, No, I made a few mistakes
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| Steven Wright
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quote: On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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| Steven Wright
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quote: One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, Didnt you see the stop sign? I said, Yeah, but I dont believe everything I read
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