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Top > w 
| W. C. Fields
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quote: Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. Theres nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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quote: A woman is like an elephant - I like to look at em, but I wouldnt want to own one.
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quote: I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes Im so steady I dont move for months.
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| W. C. Fields
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quote: After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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quote: Madam, theres no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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quote: The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
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quote: Anyone who hates dogs and kids cant be all bad.
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quote: Its a funny old world - a mans lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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quote: If at first you dont succeed, try, try again. Then quit. Theres no use being a damn fool about it.
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quote: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
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